Am I a mistake?

2 05 2008

I remember looking in the mirror when I was a teenager. I grew up in a house where there were mirrors in the bedrooms, bathrooms and even across the living room wall. I would scrutinize every bump and blemish, terrified that I didn’t measure up. In the often cruel world of high school, beauty was everything. The girls who were popular had blond hair, trendy clothes, and perfect bodies. In my assesment, I never did measure up. I was always too big here, too small there, and definitely not as perfect as the girls I idolized at school.

I felt like a mistake. An accident of evolution, destined to be a victim of natural selection. My only hope of survival was to give my life to being thin, pretty, and popular.

I began to diet and exercise, to buy sexy clothes and flirt with older boys. I left my geeky friends behind and found myself invited to parties where I was counted among the pretty girls and pursued by the hot boys. For a while, the attention felt great. I enjoyed being the girl others envied because of my perfect body.

What began as a desire for acceptance spiraled out of control and I found myself in the pit of an eating disorder.

Somewhere along the way, however, I met Jesus. When I became a Christian, my life was a mess and I identified easily with the prodigal son. My own father had disowned me and I was desperate for someone to love me despite my sin. God took a hold of my heart. This brings me to the beginning of my story.

In the beginning, God

God existed before he created the world. God created the world out of nothing. God created people in his image. Before he created people, he knew they would sin against him. From the beginning, he had a plan to redeem. God created me in his image and likeness. He formed me in my mother’s womb. God chose me to be his daughter through Jesus before he created the world.

I was not a mistake.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? A mistake? I want to encourage you to take your eyes off yourself and to look at God. Study his character and be in his presence. You are not a mistake – you were lovingly formed by a God who is perfect and good.

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4 responses

2 05 2008
shellsharingfaith

I love this: “God chose me to be his daughter through Jesus before he created the world.” Very beautiful and personal.. Thank you for sharing this testimony, it is obvious you have really discovered His love! Bless you bunches…

3 05 2008
William Bateman

I love Psalm 139 and God’s perfect ordering of each of us before we were even formed in our mother’s womb!

Remember, even our earthly bodies are only a flawed tent and we do not yet know what we will appear to be – but, when we see Jesus Christ face to face, we will appear to be just like Him (in our glorified bodies)!

24 07 2008
kelly

hi sara. i am reading your blog for the first time. keep writing this blog. i know it will reach many. and as one of your friends it helps me know what you are doing and how i need to pursue your heart.

2 02 2009
Holly

I just discovered your blog and am really happy. I think this is an important issue within the faith community. We often “know” we’re made in the image of God, but often can’t “believe” it. I have a disability, minor to me but major to the world and it has affected every relationship I have, even with my Savior. Thank you for listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

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